Restroom Poetry

The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms
(fill in the blanks using your imagination):

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to ****
But only farted

Here I sit
What a caper
I have to ****
But I'm out of paper

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And **** my pants!

Some people come here to take a ****,
I came here to leave one.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to **** and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bull**** on the walls...

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to **** out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away

(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.

(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.