The Top 10 Reasons
It Might Be Time To Buy A New Car  10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places. 9. Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel. 
8. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped. 7. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car 3 days. 6. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club." 
5. When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?" 
4. While waiting at a stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt. 3. For some unexplained reason, you keep losing dates on left turns. 2. Your gas gauge measures in cubits. 
1. Traffic reporters starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
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