Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

 And if calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the refrigerator. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump down out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

 Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, that's a balanced diet!

Money talks. Chocolate sings!

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one convenient package. Isn't that handy?

 
The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit!