Choosing A Urinal < PREVIOUS | NEXT >

Choosing A Urinal...

Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty. There *is* a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed. The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.

(Sample): You walk into a washroom and see the following urinals occupied. Where do you stand?

1	2	3	4	5	6

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!

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Easy Section

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1)

1	2	3	4	5	6

Your choice: ___

Correct answer: 6
It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.

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2)

1	2	3	4	5	6

Your choice: ___

Correct answer: 6
Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

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Kind-of-Tricky Section

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3)

1	2	3	4	5	6

Your choice: ___

Correct answer: 1 or 6
You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."

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4)

1	2	3	4	5	6

Your choice: ___

Correct answer: 1
You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.

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Subtle, Tricky, But Important-to-Know Section

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5)

1	2	3	4	5	6

Your choice: ___

Correct answer: 6
Believe it or not, 1 and 3 couples you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand!

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VERY-Tricky-Indeed Section

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6)

1	2	3	4	5	6

Your choice: ___

Correct answer: None
You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD -- for God's sake, use a doored stall!

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Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

• NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
  
• I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.
  
• NO Singing. Period.
  
• Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."