Office Thoughts! < PREVIOUS | NEXT > |
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Office Thoughts!
Funny stuff heard around
the office!
I can only please one person per day. Today
is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the
whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how
to get along without it.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and
some days the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a
perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the
stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
My reality check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one
finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you
down to their level, then beat you with experience.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres
from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.
After any salary raise, you will have less
money at the end of the month than you did before.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap
you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look
serious and carry a clipboard.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing
would get done.
Pass on these funny thoughts to a
friend!
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